I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
