My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
