i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Randomize
