Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
