YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
