i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Randomize
