I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
