i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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