Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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