No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
