And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
