Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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