Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
