you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
