fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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