I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I deserve to be covered in dicks
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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