Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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