I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
