I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
