Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
