I think i sorta joined a cult last night
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
