Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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