is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize