like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
