Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
