Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
