I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Randomize
