3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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