i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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