i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize