Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize