bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I wish I only lived at night.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
