I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night�
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
