Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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