Are we in a gay sports bar?
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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