he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
