a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
