Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
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