I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
smell my finger.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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