Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
should my penis look like a turkey
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize