I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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