fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
