I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
you made out with another girl for some wings
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
