He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
