Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
My penis needs a shock collar
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
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