I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
