My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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