I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize