i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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