he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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