What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I got inside last night via doggy door
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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