I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
