she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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