Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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