I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
