I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
