I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
