We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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