i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Randomize
