I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
